Dorothy's Last Stand

In looking back through old personal emails, I came across a list of old CoV ideas and found one that I am pretty sure I never used. As usual, my notes only had the final punch line of "and your hot dog, too" written down.

Slow and Steady Wins the Race

Yes, they really do allow guide horses now. Check it out here. So, why not guide tortoises? Well, I mean except for the speed. You'd already be run over before the tortoise could stop you from entering a crowded road.

Literally Too Literal

Someone said "Knock yourself out" the other day and the phrase stuck with me. So, I wondered how I could make fun of it. Obviously, one way would be to interpret the idiom literally.

Movin' On Up

 I wanted to create another work-related comic, and decided there must be something I could do with a graph getting turned upside down. This won't work much longer since all presentations will be electronic.

Be a Nubile Newbie

I was talking to a teammate earlier this week and asked some questions about how things were done. She said, "You worked here for four years. You know how everything works." I explained that the new org structure and a change in my responsibilities make me a newbie." She wondered how long I could get away with that, and my answer was, "I'll tell you in a CoV." So, what about today's post title? Nothing. I just wanted something that kind of rhymed with newbie.

Give Them a Big Hand

This was just a silly idea I had about the perils of having a hand as large as a foam hand. It would be an inconvenience. I decided against having a final response such as "don't look at me" or "tomorrow, wear a kilt." Unfortunately, I could not figure out how to color it exactly like the guy's arm in the tool I use. Oh well, a swollen hand would look a different color anyway. right?

I Bet He Likes That Tree

 My note to myself with this idea just said downward dog - pee. I was not sure why someone would do that, so my initial challenge was to think a semi-plausible reason to have someone do that act. Aha. Act led to actor which led to someone trained in the method.

T-ai Chiwawa

Of course, I know that each of you often hears words and transposes their first letters. It is often called a spoonerism. Even if you haven't done it, though, I do, and this is the result of such an action.

By Any Other Name

Come on. How much explanation does this one take? Your only question needs to be...did I really do this? No, I did not.

Hallway Drama

Somehow, I was talking to a project manager the other day who mentioned another who was into drama. That led me to call her a drama queen which made me think of abbreviating that as DQ which reminded me of PDQ.

The Bottom Line

Yes, that sign and the spellings described herein are posted in our breakroom. No, the point is NOT that we had a generous employer who supplied those items. It is the misspelling. Come on, people. Stay with me.

Stick With Strengths

It seems like kids that even hold their hands in the shape of a gun are getting suspended from schools. How far will Zero Tolerance go? Here is what could happen at work. Have you heard of SWOT Analysis?Evaluating the Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats of a particular proposed project or work effort? Well, as long as you know the name, you'll follow my point.

Exercise in Black and White

At lunch on Sunday, we found out that the folks had been to Tai Chi during the prior week. So, my sister suggested that it was like Tai Chi looks like mimes trying to break out of imaginary boxes. Boom. I had to write that idea down.

Spying on a Conversation

This is one of those where I don't know what made me think of it. Maybe I saw an ad for a James Bond movie?

Here's Looking at You, Kid

OK, our CEO is not actually pictured on the screensaver, but he is on a Sharepoint page. So, when I looked up and saw his face today, I felt like he was watching me.

Putting the Zoom in Zumba

We had a discussion at lunch about not liking to hit the gym because it meant you were hot and sweaty for the rest of the day. One of the team suggested using a shower cap so you could rinse off without getting your hair wet. That led to this punch line.

Stinkin' Badges

I got my badge for work yesterday. No, it is not actually larger than before. I am just not used to carrying one.

Best Player of the Night?

Can you believe the power went out during the Super Bowl? I do wonder if Beyonce is getting her comeuppance.

So Near And Yet ...

I had in mind to finish yesterday's "so many forms" idea. Luckily, the hiring managers are excited that this candidate made it 80% of the way since their last guy only did less than 50% of the forms.